The Story Behind I Said This, You Heard That


What parent hasn’t at least once wished for an owner’s manual for their child—something with troubleshooting tips for unpleasant behavior or instructions for care and maintenance?

A few years ago, our women’s team found one.

Her Name is Kathleen Edelman.

Kathleen has spent 25 years teaching clients how their wiring colors their communication. In 2015, we invited her to lead one of our Mom Matters sessions to give our moms an owner’s manual for their kids—instructions for figuring out their wiring and some troubleshooting tips for talking to them.

The feedback was incredible.

So incredible that we asked her back for one of our Parent Unscripted sessions…then some of our Community Groups invited her right into their living rooms. Kathleen’s explanation of temperaments created aha moments in every crowd! Folks heard her talk, applied it at home, and came back shocked at how helpful it had been. Like she’d seen in her office for two decades, the material was life changing, family changing, and before long, team changing. Work teams all over our organization soon invited Kathleen to coach them. Then after experiencing it firsthand, asked her to speak at their volunteer training events.For: Foster parents, Community Group leaders, and Care mentors.

What started as solid parenting guidance swept through our ministry transforming us not just as parents, but as spouses, bosses, colleagues, and volunteers too.

“Few other pieces of training have been this ‘sticky’ for our staff team. We’re still talking about our temperaments almost daily. It’s an incredible tool.”

Adam Johnson
Lead Pastor, Browns Bridge Church


One of our early-adopting teams now leverages their awareness of temperaments to:

Set meeting agendas.

They send agendas before brainstorming meetings so the teammates who need it have time to process their thoughts. Now everyone is better positioned to contribute.

Give constructive feedback.

Knowing everyone’s natural strengths and weaknesses creates grace for one another’s shortcomings and gives them permission to point out opportunities for growth.

Share meaningful praise.

They know exactly which words each teammate craves, so jobs well done can now be truly celebrated. 

Hire well.

They use temperaments to find a candidate that will be a natural fit on the team and in the role.

The material was effective. The challenge was making it accessible.

Other than in-person teaching, there wasn’t a way to easily share Kathleen’s material. And requests for coaching overwhelmed her schedule after each live event. So 18 months ago, we began building a workbook and video study that would walk any group—large or small—through the content.

I Said This, You Heard That is a 6-session study that will change every conflict and conversation you have—for good. It dives into a single, powerful sentence from the apostle Paul and gives you the practical tools to actually accomplish what he suggests.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

“Knowing what to do is one thing, and doing it is something else entirely. I Said This, You Heard That is the most practical tool I’ve seen for turning Ephesians 4:29 into something I can actually do. Kathleen’s step-by-step approach has been a game-changer for me as a father, a husband, and a boss.”

—Andy Stanley

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